I’m sitting here, in a cafeteria called Cabra Negra in the Dent neighborhood, on 37th Street, it’s about 7 p.m., I’m thinking of ordering another coffee, but I don’t know, it’s very hot, I guess I could opt for a drink more refreshing, after all we are in the middle of summer and it would fall perfect. And it is at this moment that I look up to call the waiter, I see her. Dark and long hair, Caucasian skin, green eyes, long white dress but that does not hide his incredible physique that he probably got with months of gym and a smile so damn perfect that it would be the visual orgasm of any dentist.
If it were Tinder, I would have already swipe it to the right or I would be sending a request on Facebook. But, this is not a social network. I don’t know his age, I don’t know what his tastes are (although I know that coffee is), I don’t know what his hobbies are, I don’t know if he is a vegetarian, I don’t know if he is an activist or if he works in an important company, or if he is Enterprising, I don’t know what your tastes are, damn it, I won’t even know your name or your nickname on instagram.
This is real life, there are no filters, there are no last sessions, or more recent photos, there is nothing. Maybe she likes photography because she is reading a book on the subject, although it could be anything, after all it was the only book in the bar.
I could get up and walk towards it and find out all this, but it is not so simple, in today’s society I could see myself as a stalker, or it is simply my own cowardice and lack of confidence that keeps me glued to this stupid seat. I want to go and invite her to have a cup of wine in a more welcoming place, but I need that security sign that only an app can give me, you know, that she has no partner, that she is looking for something, that she wants to meet new people. Shit, what happened to the world?
Maybe somewhere else, you know, something that wasn’t a cafeteria, maybe a bar, and maybe if I had friends like Marshall and Barney that force me to play the classic “have you met Ted”? Maybe at that time I had some kind of opportunity. But still I would not. That is, why? It is risky, could have a partner, could be like a solace and very embarrassed. Wouldn’t it be easier to reach someone at the bar and have something safe and uncomplicated? Well, it seems the most obvious, simple and comfortable plan. I guess technology is like that right? comfortable.
Flirt apps have merged with a conformist society that is safe, without risk. That is it!, Without risks, and that is reflected in everything. It’s like ordering food, we no longer go to the restaurant to see if the ramen dish that we like so much is available, we can look at the app and go to the safe. We are afraid to take risks, we are afraid to leave the comfort zone, we don’t change our work because we are terrified of the new work environment, we prefer to settle for an environment full of idiots that we don’t support. And the bars? Well, they became that nest of vultures where only the worst guys approach girls alone. Do you now understand why women go in groups?
The app seems to be the best option. Tinder, Badoo and even Facebook are better options, or so we think. But what is in the background of all this? Codes? Images?, the appearance is important, we are no longer interested in feelings, now everything is resolved with a swipe to the left or right, because in the end we are just that, a profile that we liked or not. Something like when you go to the supermarket and choose the Froot Loops instead of the Cap’n Crunch.
What happened?, when we stopped being worth something as individuals and became a number within an operating system?. Tinder only needs to give us prizes for each achievement achieved, you know, “you have unlocked the Match # 50 trophy” (although Tagged already does). Stupid apps have taken away our empathy. And don’t make me talk about human ingenuity. Before we had to devise a creative way to start a conversation with someone at the bar, now you only see idiots sending dick pics through the chats waiting for someone to follow them, and if it doesn’t work, NEXT!.
Today everything has changed, we go to a bar and possibly your date is in Tinder by matching your next date, IN FRONT OF YOU!, or chatting on WhatsApp, or answering the story to someone on Instagram. There is no longer respect for the time and value of the other person. What’s more, if I wanted to, I could have sex this damn night with just one message. That’s how shit everything has become.
All right, now the great revelation you’ve been waiting for all night, that moment of wisdom from me where I will tell you what to do to correct this. The movie is called “Technology has killed empathy.” SPOILER: We can’t change that, #wefuck. Did you expect it?
Technology only advances, it makes life easier for us, it wraps us in a sea of comfort, and that is not bad, really Tinder is not so bad, there are real stories of people who met through an app and are now married and have children. That happens. It also works if you want a night of action and now, without commitment, without entanglements and without complications (and yes, sex is so easy to achieve today, and we should be grateful for it).
The important thing is to use them with responsibility, not to make them your world, you will not return your only way to meet people. Go to parties with your friends, make friends with your friends, meet people live and not through an app, leave the damn fear aside, be part of a group, make a reunion with your human side and never stop looking at your around, you may one day have a cross of eyes with someone. Everything is possible. You have to be more than a finger like in social networks.